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Ten top Peak grit problems – by Dave Parry
Not To Be Taken Away.
I was asked to write a thing about my top ten favourite Peak gritstone boulder problems – sounds easy, right? The issue is I don’t really have ten favourite boulder problems, and if I did, I’m not convinced I’d want to give them away in an article in case everyone then goes and does them and then trashes them, or snaps the holds off etc. etc. Because the problem with the internet is anyone could be reading this. 'But you’ve already written about your 100 favourite problems in Grit Blocs Dave!' I hear you cry. All I can say is check the fine print – that book is 100 of the finest ... and nowhere do I claim to actually like them. In fact there’s a couple in there I actively hate. So anyway, in order to discharge my obligations to write this article I am going to have to write in character as the sort of person who would have ten favourite problems lined up, and would write about them, rather than as me. So if you disagree with any of these choices don’t come up to me and argue the toss about them, because these aren’t my choices, I’m doing this in character. The character is loosely based on me, but it’s still a character none the less. So here we go.
I was asked to write a thing about my top ten favourite Peak gritstone boulder problems – sounds easy, right? The issue is I don’t really have ten favourite boulder problems, and if I did, I’m not convinced I’d want to give them away in an article in case everyone then goes and does them and then trashes them, or snaps the holds off etc. etc. Because the problem with the internet is anyone could be reading this. 'But you’ve already written about your 100 favourite problems in Grit Blocs Dave!' I hear you cry. All I can say is check the fine print – that book is 100 of the finest ... and nowhere do I claim to actually like them. In fact there’s a couple in there I actively hate. So anyway, in order to discharge my obligations to write this article I am going to have to write in character as the sort of person who would have ten favourite problems lined up, and would write about them, rather than as me. So if you disagree with any of these choices don’t come up to me and argue the toss about them, because these aren’t my choices, I’m doing this in character. The character is loosely based on me, but it’s still a character none the less. So here we go.
Kobe, Wharncliffe
When you ask most boulderers what’s their favourite problem, or what’s the best thing they’ve done, what they usually respond with is not in fact the best thing, but is usually the hardest thing they’ve done recently. In accordance with this rich tradition I will select Kobe at Wharncliffe. To add insult to injury this is technically neither gritstone nor in the Peak District. A pure vanity choice then. The redeeming feature here is the fact that is IS actually superb, with brilliant moves on incredible quality rock – a remarkable find. And, although the landing is not the most user friendly, it’s not too bad.
Careless Torque, Stanage
Nowhere in the original brief for this article did anyone mention that I had to have actually done these so-called favourites, so Careless goes in simply because it’s a beautiful line, a remarkable piece of rock architecture. I suspect the moves on the top section aren’t actually all that pleasant but seeing as I’m unlikely to ever get that far I’m not too worried about that. It’s always a treat to see someone else climbing it though, and if they take a long fall from high up it makes me especially glad it’s not me up there. Cracking effort by Big Ron back in the day, an ascent remarkably ahead of its time too.
Jason's Roof, Burbage North
This is an odd one because if you don’t have the arm span to reach the pinch off the glued/keel hold and the leg length to push yourself up into that position then this is probably either 8a or impossible for members of the short- or medium-arse community (and it IS a community). But it fits me perfectly so sod the rest of you. It’s my list so it’s going in. This is a great problem, and despite not being popular for reasons outlined above it’s actually one of the best of its grade in the Peak IF it fits you. The float up move to pop your foot on the lip of the pinch and a wide handful of left arête are lovely.
Art Of Japan, Curbar
This photogenic crowd-pleaser up on the ramparts of Curbar is a classic and is exactly the sort of problem you might choose when writing this sort of list, which I currently am. Admittedly it’s much easier for the tall, hence I’ve always had a soft spot for it. Situation and aspect is similar to the famed Smiling Buttress just yards away, but this one can be enjoyed by all us sub-wads at an amenable pay grade. Bang tidy.
Love Is Blind, Burbage North
The other thing that happens when people are asked to write this sort of list is vanity gets the better of them and they pick a problem that they did the first ascent of to big themselves up a bit. So in keeping with this questionable ethos my ego-boosting pick is Love Is Blind, which is a linkup of two excellent if slightly eliminate existing problems, and as far as I know is unrepeated. It’s not that it’s that hard by current standards, its more that most people climbing at this level aren’t sufficiently motivated to keep going to the same bit of Burbage repeatedly in order to get the constituent problems sufficiently wired and drop on the one day a year when it’s warm enough to get through the traverse with any feeling left in your fingers, yet cold enough to be able to finish up Blind Fig. It’s their loss.
Sitting Duck, Burbage South
This isn’t much of a standout problem, doesn’t seem to be on many people’s radar, but it’s a belter, one of the best at whatever grade it is in the Peak. I can’t really walk past it this without having a go on it, no matter what time of year or how warm or cold it is. An essential stop on the circuit. That big highball slab thing at Grinah Stones. You know, the one right in front of you when you arrive at the main bit? Quite a tricky start with pockets, but the angle relents as you gain height and exposure, dusting the scrittle off the holds as you go. Lovely stuff. Don’t fall off as it’s a very long Joe Simpson-esque crawl back to civilisation and a book deal.
The Cube, Roaches
A good mate of mine fell off this and broke his ankle and required mountain rescue, some laughing gas and a stretcher carry to the road over the back to get to safety. And he fell off before I had a chance to have a go, so having been somewhat put off by the whole experience it took me almost twenty years to find myself back there. But it was worth the wait. Just getting established on the face is not easy, but some quality crimpy fishing-around-for-the-best-edges and a committing move high up awaits. Proper good stuff away from the Roaches crowds.
Matchbox Slab, The Five Clouds
For a rock type characterised by ultra-technical faith-in-friction smearing, there’s actually not very much easier-grade pure smearing to be had on gritstone. Mostly there’s something – no matter how bad – for your hands or feet; a pebble, a crystal, a tiny divot etc. But not here, there’s basically nothing. So it’s a matter of just keeping moving, keeping the heels low, and just trying to make it to the top before adhesion or nerve fails – and no slinking off right either!
Angel's Share, Black Rocks
For a rock type characterised by ultra-technical faith-in-friction smearing, there’s actually not very much harder-grade pure smearing to be had on gritstone. Mostly there’s something – no matter how bad - for your hands or feet; a pebble, a crystal, a tiny divot etc. But not here, there’s basically nothing. So it’s a matter of just keeping moving, keeping the heels low, and just trying to make it to the top before adhesion or nerve fails - and no slinking off right either!
(I should point out that I’ve not done or even tried this one, and character that I’m writing this as probably hasn’t either, but will maybe have been on it on an ab rope).
